me, me, ME!

I've had a lot of fights with my sister as of late, nothing new, I know, but some of them have had to do with me "being selfish". At first, I thought, "That was awfully selfish of her to accuse me of being selfish. Just because I wasn't thinking of HER, that makes ME selfish." And that used to be the case, back when I had other people to consume my thoughts and attention, and not just her. But now that I have no one to hang out with and I'm stuck with just my family's ugly mugs, I have been thinking primarily of me. Which is the basis of people getting upset with me. It's survival of the "fittest" in this family. We are a very impatient, short-tempered people who expects everyone else in the family to do for us whatever we ask them to, and when that doesn't happen, we get angry very quickly. 

I've been doing a lot of thinking in the slow-passing time here and I've realized that what you put into your relationships is what you will get out of them. So I'm going to try to be more charitable towards the family members. It won't be reciprocated for a while, if it ever does, but it will surely help me be happier...hopefully. 

I've gotten too used to people depending on my presence for their day to be complete. Now that that's not the case here, I'm floundering and wondering why nobody cares to see me. Maybe, if I make them love me, then I can gain that status back. 

Worth a try, no?

Maybe I can talk to Jerica [fat chance] and get her to see my side of the story too...

I'll keep you updated.